Yeah! Uh huh! This guy gets it; chainmail for the everyday working man. What a damn clever invention! It’s flexible, it’s lifesaving, it’s really heavy, and it’s flashy; this is sexy with a capital sex. Chainmail was a game changing acquisition for any one-on-one medieval knight who was either tired of lugging around a whole body’s worth of steel, or was simply smart enough to know an incoming trend when he saw it. Though it was invented in the first century BC, it is yet to go out of style and hence is statistically the most popular form of rogue stabbing protection and/or sexual intercourse since the dawn of man. PLUS, it is sometimes bulletproof!

What’s that? They make a more torso protective garment called a bulletproof vest? Psh, BFD! What are you going to do if the shooter aims for your arms? It’s not a bulletproof jacket! Plus, it’s hidden under your shirt. So how are the ladies going to know that if their man gets dangerous with some hoodlums in the backalley behind Jimmy Johns, he isn’t going to die from kidney stabbings?

Exactly. You get the picture. Buy your own Here, and start slaying some chicks (literally or figuratively, depending on how into LARPing you are).